Finding Home
by pfyt
Summary: His mother used to say, "Home is where the heart is."


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Written on: 7/13/09

Completed on: 8/12/09

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Finding Home

His mother used to say, "Home is where the heart is."

He never really had a home, Itachi muses. Sure, there was the house he lived in with his mother and father and little Sasuke. He grew up in that house, slept there, ate food there, and he was suppose to live in that house for the rest of his life; being the clan heir and all. He learned his first ninjutsu in the backyard, learned how to make onigiri in the kitchen, and learned how to throw shuriken in the forest... Itachi never did get around to showing Sasuke how to throw them _properly_. He had had family, and family was suppose to help make up your home.

But he killed his family. _He was a ninja and ninja are lethal even at a young age._

It wasn't really a home though. It was a prison. He was a tool for his clan. A tool for his parents. Well, at least his father, but his mother never stopped him either. No, a home is where you feel safe and loved and he never felt that. Just pressure to do better (_always better, move through_ _the ranks Itachi, faster, that's it, work harder, our clan deserves this_). That was never a home.

Konoha with its high walls and tall shaded trees; the Hokage monument looking over the village. He had once thought that maybe, _just maybe_, he could consider Konoha, as a whole, his home. That is what he protected. Konoha, his home. But it abandoned him, betrayed him, because he was no longer useful -he was a broken tool- it was no longer a home.

There was Akatsuki. They had bases with rooms they could call their own. Deidara even once jokingly said that they were the most messed up family in all of the shinobi nations. Sasori had smiled, just slightly. He supposed that Kisame could be considered family (_kind of, not really, you killed your family, you don't have family_), but Kisame enjoyed bloodshed and pain and torture and that made Itachi's stomach turn. Akatsuki was violent and power-hungry. The rooms were much too cold to be deemed inviting.

Akatsuki was as close to a physical home as he was going to get.

He still didn't call it home.

He had put faith in Sasuke, his little brother. He had hoped that Sasuke would become stronger than him, in all ways. Itachi had hoped that Sasuke would be stronger mentally: to avoid being caught like a fly in a spider's web. (_Uchiha Itachi, your next mission is to eliminate the Uchiha clan_). Itachi had hoped that Sasuke would be stronger in his love for friends. (_Itachi, to receive the Mangekyo Sharingan you_ _must kill your closest friend_). Itachi had hoped that Sasuke would be stronger and make his own future. (_Run, run, and cling to life. You are weak. "I'll kill you!_"). In the end though Sasuke gave up his friends, his home, and all the bonds, he shed everything like a snake shedding its skin, ready for a new life; a stronger life. But, he was still weak in Itachi's eyes. Because everything Itachi held dear -in the back of his mind- Sasuke threw away so that he could kill his _dear_ Aniki.

Sometimes…he regrets. The pain he put Sasuke through. The torment. He broke his brother down hoping, (but there is no hope), that Sasuke would rebuild himself, rebuild his mind. So that when he came to face Madara, (because that's the final level to any game Sasuke will ever play with Itachi), he would triumph and win. But Sasuke was like a puppet; his strings could be pulled by any person stronger than himself. Itachi had played with them for a time, trying to guide his brother in his own way. And he can admit it didn't work. Madara on the other hand was a master puppeteer. Even better than Sasori, because Sasori could only handle the dead. Madara played with life. Itachi had failed Sasuke and in return Sasuke failed him as well.

And when Itachi thought everything was in vain; Konoha was destroyed, Madara was the highest standing Kage...with Sasuke at his side. Everything he had tried to do--tried to prevent happened. He couldn't even die properly, like he had planned for years. He had found Haruno Sakura. His brother's genin teammate. Jaded and alone (for everyone that she held precious was gone) and she didn't care anymore, so she looked straight into his eyes. And when she looked into his eyes, he saw nothing--at first...

A cup of tea is held practically under his nose. He looks up to see green eyes looking at him, eyes that were warm, trusting, happy -happy to see him. He takes the proffered cup, silently thanking her. As they sit at the base of a large tree staring at where a fire would be if they weren't in enemy territory. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, he didn't need a physical home with four walls and a roof. Because that's confining and all he wants to be right now is free, free, free. And he feels free even in enemy territory, everywhere is enemy territory, but he has learned to trust someone with his back that isn't Kisame. Someone who sees things the way he does. Someone who can have intellectual conversations or be quiet and listen to the wilderness. Someone who accepts him...and all that he has done.

He supposed that he would never have a true home, but he had Sakura.

And that was enough.

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Constructive criticism would be appreciated. :)


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